ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
