You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's official drugs can't kill me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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