i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
