Capitaan dildo arrescate!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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