beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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