he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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