That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
