Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my being single is dangerous.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
