i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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