Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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