Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize