watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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