no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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