just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
