Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
