I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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