He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
