can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
