i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
