you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
