'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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