pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have already put on my inside pants.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
