that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
