Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
