i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
