What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
