I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
