Kiss
Puke
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
