my vag is so smooth its legendary
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
