is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
