so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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