I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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