she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
