i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
