My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
