can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
