I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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