Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
