I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
