But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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