Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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