the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
