yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
