yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
