I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
