it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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