your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
