It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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