my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
