I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
