She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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