let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
