so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My liver just had a heart attack.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
