erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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