i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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