Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
