do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
