it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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