Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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